like a river

I love him. I like to think about how God made me&him for each other. I think about how much he loves me & I am back to where we were when we first fell in love.

I love his hands, his laugh, & his deep voice that makes me weak when I really listen to how gorgeous it is. I love his fingers, & the music he plays for me. (He'll play me anything I want & he has such a gift, yet he plays for no one else. He has this secret treasure he only shares with me.) I love his feet, & the walks we take & his sense of humor, the expression lines around his eyes when he smiles & how he can find humor in the most mundane of scenarios, & I really adore that tooth of his that's a little more shy than the others. I love constellation at the base of his neck - traced, it is "J" - marking my favorite place to lay my head while he's sitting in bed reading. When I rest my head there, between his shoulders, I am awed by the grace with which he carries the weight of our family. I love his heart for us & for Jesus, & for those who don't know His savior.

He leads our family well, & it's moments like these - when he's not 100%, when he'd rather have a cup of hot tea, followed by a cold beer & a good book over anything else - that I realize how much I depend on him, & hurt along with him. When he's lethargic & ailing, I'm wounded, too. We're tied to each other, it's deeper than vows. It's this gorgeous union that runs through our souls, & ties us together spiritually. It is God. God is love, yes? God commands love. & has given us an ability to love that cannot be measured. It doesn't stop when the the tissues start to pile up higher than our spirits. It doesn't stop when eyes won't open enough to show whether or not attention is being paid. It flows, like a river, with its constant current, always rushing. There are storms that cloud the waters & there are pollutants that must be removed, yes, but it is always worth the effort... & even if a dam is to slow its flow, there is always the Creator, the gracious God who made us for each other, who can make the dam to break & can revive a current in a place that was once was still. I love this man, & the God who paired me with him.

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